My senior year in high school I will never forget that night. I was sitting on my bed doing homework and my mom & dad walked into my room. That never happened. Not at the same time. I knew. I knew something was wrong. I was right. This was the day my life forever changed. My family's life forever changed. In the moment I wanted Gayle. She is like my second mom & I wanted her. I needed her. I knew she'd make me laugh. Make me smile. She did! She drove around with me and we just talked. Thank you, Gayle, for that day. Thank you for being there for me!
As my life continued, his treatments began and this was the new norm for me. My parents would go to his treatment and I continued my normal routines. I graduated from high school with my dad there cheering me on. All was okay in my world. Everything felt somewhat normal again. I decided to go to college at Huntingdon in Montgomery. That was the best decision. I was close to home and would be near my family. God knew what he was doing. He knew I would need to be close.
Fast forward to Fall of 2007. My new normal that I had adjusted to slowly began to change. My dad's cancer got worse and my heart grew colder. I just didn't understand why this was happening to my family. Why wouldn't God just heal my dad? Why couldn't he just be cancer free? Why? I shouldn't have asked that many whys. But God would show me later. That is my favorite part of my story.
At the beginning of October I was sitting in my dorm room alone waiting to hear from my mom. She was with my dad having a very important visit with his doctor. My phone finally rang. This phone call would change my life forever. This was it. My mom didn't want to tell me what she knew. She was being her amazing self. Her strong self. Incase you don't know my mom, she is the strongest person I have ever known. I said mom, you have to tell me. I have to know. In the matter of 1 minute my world came crashing down. There was nothing else that could be done. The battle was coming to end. I was heartbroken, distraught, and numb. I ran across the hall to my dorm neighbor, Maggie. She took me in her arms and she just hugged me. No words were exchanged. Just tears and hugs. That silence is what I needed to process everything. Maggie, you will never know how much those hugs and silence meant to me. Thank you for being my rock during that moment. About 30 minutes later my second mom came to my rescue along with my roommates. I cried and cried to them, and they continued to hug me. I just wanted to know how much longer. How much time had they given my dad? As Gayle was hugging me I saw in the corner of my eye her hold up the number three with her fingers. Three days? Three weeks? Three months? I had no clue. Thank you, Gayle, for being there. Again. You were there at the beginning of this battle & the end. You are so very special to me. Also, thank you Katy Jo, Chelsea, & Lynley for being such incredible roommates that were there no matter what time I needed y'all. For reminding me to laugh and to let loose. Thank you to my big, Destree, for the cuddles and endless talks at night when I needed you most. My little, Kristi, for being such a great and loving little! Who would take me on the best car rides! :)
I later found out the answer to my question was three months.
That three months turned into 2 weeks. How did this happen so fast? Now here we are 8 years ago today I am at my house talking to my dad. Having what would be the last real conversation I would have with my dad. He told me to be strong. To protect my sisters. Be my mom's rock. Mom, Hannah, & Hollan; I hope I have lived up to Daddy's request. I'm so thankful for the three of you. We couldn't of gotten through this without each other. I truly believe that. Us VanderHey girls stick together!
I will always cherish that conversation. Always.
Now to the morning of October 26, 2007. I woke up, went and gave my dad a kiss like I had been doing the past couple of days he had been in care of hospice. He wanted to finish the battle at our house. In the comfort of our home. A little funny of that day. Our dog Josie was barking like crazy, like usual. And in his mumbled voice he said, "can someone shut that damn dog up." My dad was always a man of few words. But when he said something, he meant it. We quickly found a place for Josie to stay.
Around lunch I went to run an errand. Before I even got to the destination I was told to come home. It was time. My heart sunk. I prayed the whole way home for strength.
I got there and everyone was standing in a circle holding hands. There was a spot waiting for me to hold my Daddy's left hand. I told him I was there and that I loved him. I asked if I could pray and I prayed for courage and strength for all of us. I told my dad to go get our house ready in Heaven. We are okay. We would be just fine. My mom said her goodbyes and for a moment we thought he was gone. But, it wasn't. I closed my eyes and heard the song "Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home." It was what I needed to hear. Then it happened. My dad took his last breath. The battle with cancer was over.
Right then and there I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I saw the gates of Heaven. It was amazing. It was bright. Then I saw my dad on the other side. Smiling at me. I knew he was home. I knew God gave me a peace. A reassurance. He gave me a reason to keep going.
I went outside to see the sun shining and to see an opening in the clouds. It was another peace God gave me. Our good family friend, Barbi, came out with me and just hugged me. Thank you, Barbi, for your hugs during that.
Gotta love hugs!
I went back inside to check on my mom. And I just sat with her and cried. When the tears stopped I told her what I saw. Here is my favorite part. She. Saw. The. Exact. Same. Thing. God is amazing, isn't he? Here comes another amazing part. My mom's friend, Janice, said that was such a beautiful song. I said you heard it too? And she said, Heather, you were the one singing. Incredible. God used me and I didn't even realize it.
The rest of the day and into the evening we sat there and shared our favorite memories of my dad. They were filled with laughter and tears. Two of my dearest friends came by to say their goodbyes to my dad and to be with me. Lauren & Erin thank you for coming. Thank you for loving me and just being there to sit outside. You two girls will never know how important you were to me that afternoon.
My life continued on after that cool October day. A few weeks after my dad passed, I would call his cell phone just to hear his voicemail. I wish I could still call it. I miss him every single day. I wish he could have been here to meet Tyler and be there when Ty was born. But, he has had the best seat in the house for all the occasions in my life.
I will forever be grateful for that day. Even though I lost my Dad, I got to see him at the gates of Heaven. And I will get to see him one day.
Thank you for reading my testimony.
God bless!
-Heather
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