Seven letters, HUGE meaning

They say you cannot judge a book by its cover. That has never been truer with me.

You would never know that someone like me has it. But maybe I am wrong. Maybe I have it written all over me. Or maybe I am just good at hiding it. I am someone who has been described as bubbly, outgoing, a leader, always happy, etc. It is so interesting to me, to think that I’ve come to this. I love my husband and my son, and I love spending time with them. I love my family and love being with them. I love my job and I love teaching those sweet little babes. I love my friends and the time I get to spend with them. Most importantly I love God and all the amazing things he has blessed me with. The one person I couldn’t seem to love—myself. I felt like I let everyone down all the time. Even though throughout my days I get praise from everywhere, it doesn’t change how I felt. No matter how many Bible verses I read about how important it is to love yourself and that because of God I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” I have such an amazing life, and so many people would love to have the life I live. An amazing husband & son that I wake up to everyday. They support me and love me no matter what. An amazing mom who lives in our beautiful house in her apartment downstairs, who takes our son to school and takes care of him when needed. Wonderful and loving in-laws who treat me like I am their own. My two sisters who even though we fight like dogs sometimes, I know love me. Grandparents that love me with their whole heart and would do just about anything to help me. Aunts & Uncles can always make me laugh and even if I don’t see them often, it always feels like we haven’t skipped a beat when I see them. So, you may wonder why someone who all that didn’t love herself. And that’s because of a seven-letter word with a whole lot of meaning. Anxiety. In Webster’s dictionary anxiety is described as “a strong desire sometimes mixed with doubt, fear, or uneasiness.” That’s me in a nutshell. It’s the worst feeling in the world. And it’s unexplainable. I feel like I am not good enough. I feel as if I must apologize for everything. Even something as simple as texting someone and they’re busy. I didn’t know they were busy, and it shouldn’t feel as if it is my fault. But I do. I immediately feel bad. I cannot stand feeling like I have disappointed someone. So, can you imagine the feeling I do feel when I actually truly disappoint someone? It’s awful. It’s a dangerous slope too.

Before I rekindled my relationship with God about a year ago, I was in a dark, lonely place in my life. Looking back at it, I was deeply depressed. I didn’t want to be around anyone but my husband and son. They were the only two people on this earth that I felt safe with. Ty was too young to understand my headspace. Tyler was so loving and caring that he helped me through it. It wasn’t easy for him, because sometimes he just didn’t know what to do to help. I am so lucky he stayed by my side through all of this. What an amazing man he is. Thank you, Tyler, for loving me unconditionally and no matter what. No matter what people may say or what you think people may think about you—you are the best husband in the world. I am forever blessed to have you in my life. Even if we fight or say things to each other we regret, we forgive and move on. Our relationship is truly blessed my God.

What I am about to say is not good. It’s not happy. And it’s not because of anyone. It’s because of my anxiety. I am scared to even type it out, because then it’s real. It really happened. Remember, this was before my relationship with God wasn’t there. This was when I was so lost. So very lost. But if my words can help someone before it gets to this point, then it is worth it. 

I truly despised myself a year ago. I let the pressure of living up to a promise I made to my dad ten years ago get to me. And I let myself fall. I turned my back on God. And I was so afraid of losing my husband, son, and family that I kept the battle to myself. I felt as if I had hurt so many people by things I did. But, I didn’t do anything, my mind made me believe that I did. The only way I could move past the hurt I caused, was hurting myself. I thought that going into the closet and hitting myself, pinching myself, or telling myself how terrible of a person I was would hurt me like I hurt others. I was so wrong. All that did was push me further away from God and my family. I should have spent those moments in the closet praying or telling Tyler what I was feeling. But I didn’t. No one in my life knew. Not one single soul. God knew though, and he was just waiting for me to come to him. He knew. He knew I would. Thank goodness God waited. And thank goodness he kept Tyler in the picture. I would not have survived this without God and Tyler.  

I love my family so much, but when building a house with your Mom there are bound to be hurdles. And that’s okay. The process of building a house is supposed to be exciting. It wasn’t. It was absolute hell for me. I entrusted Tyler with the details of the house, because I knew my anxiety couldn’t handle it. I only had two requests: a big bathtub, and white subway tiles. Which obviously I got! We went through the process and I felt like if we got to something that my mom wanted and it couldn’t be delivered (not because we didn’t want to, but the builders couldn’t make it happen) we were horrible people. I felt judged through the entire process. Now, I want to state for the record—I am not upset with anyone for these feelings. For all I know I wasn’t being judged. I know people were just looking out for my mother. However, someone with severe anxiety and not the greatest relationship with God doesn’t handle these situations well. Tyler would come to me with concerns about things and my family would come to me with concerns for my mom. Neither of parties were wrong for that. At all. But, everyone on the outside were concerned for either my mother or my husband. No one once asked me how I felt, or how I was doing with the change. Did they have to check on me? No. Do I wish they would have? Yes. One day Tyler finally asked and that really began our conversation about my anxiety. And that changed our marriage for the better. I knew I could finally be open with him. That was a year ago. That is when I knew I could get through this.

The rest of the house building process was slowly coming to an end and I was able to enjoy it! With the help of God and Tyler I was able to let snarky remarks or doubts go in one ear and out the other. It was so refreshing and such a sweet relief. I wanted to go see the house more often, instead of relying on pictures Tyler was taking. I was finally feeling like my old self again.

Do I think I have always suffered from anxiety? Yes, I do. I look back on situations from High School and College and think—that was due to my anxiety. But anxiety was a term thrown around like it was some Mardi Gras beads at a parade. So, I didn’t ever investigate it further. I do think it all started when my Dad was sick. I wanted to be strong for everyone, so I put myself on the back burner…for 12 years. I think the anxiety has always been mild. However, a poor relationship with God and an extremely unusual and uncomfortable/stressful situation caused it to rear its ugly head.

So, where I am now? Better than I have ever been. It is amazing what a lot of prayer, a good Church, my sweet husband & son, and a little routine can do! I wake up in the mornings and don’t feel this huge weight on my shoulders. I smile more, I laugh more—I can genuinely say that I am so happy. My marriage is better than it ever has been, and I love Tyler more than I ever have! We have a wonderful small group with three other couples. I love being with them and I love that they understand me. What a beautiful friendship we have created in such a short period of time. I even am leading our small group now! I never would have done that over a year ago. I didn’t even want to go to church then. Anytime I am feeling lonely or sad—I can tell Tyler without hesitation. He can tell when we are in a circumstance that my anxiety is in action and calms my brain down. I am Heather Perdue and a happy girl!

Why did I feel the need to type this? Why do I think people would care? I don’t know if they would—but it may give a little insight in my life or may help someone who is going through what I went through. Or maybe I can help someone who has a loved one with anxiety with what to do for them.

What can you do for your loved ones with anxiety? Love them, be patient with them, and be gentle with them. Which is how we should treat people no matter what, but especially people with anxiety. Remember we need to be told they are loved AND shown. We need you to patient with us in situations that are hard, we will get through it—you just need to be patient with us. We need your words to be gentle. Words hurt already, but when you’re insecure in who you are—they hurt even more. Now, we know that nobody is perfect. Heck, we don’t think we are even close. Therefore, we are so forgiving. Sometimes we are TOO forgiving. But apologize when you hurt us. Life is too short to hold a grudge over stupid stuff. If you don’t, we don’t know where we stand with you. We will doubt your love for us & when that begins we fall down that slippery slope. That slippery slope isn’t easy to overcome.

If you are reading this and you can relate, talk to me. I would love to talk to you about what you’ve been through. If you are reading this and you feel guilty for the things you have said to someone you know may have anxiety—apologize to them. Don’t let them sit in fear that you don’t like them.

We need to be the light in this dark world. Be kind always.

-Heather Perdue

My why, my how, my reason, my testimony.

I have struggled with wondering when I should share my story of losing my dad. Only a handful of people know exactly what happened the day I lost my best friend, my inspiration, my daddy. I'm going to start from the beginning. I hope that my testimony can be of some inspiration to someone. Feel free to share this with someone you feel it may touch. Isn't that what our testimonies are for? To touch people's hearts? Well, here it its. Here goes nothing.

My senior year in high school I will never forget that night. I was sitting on my bed doing homework and my mom & dad walked into my room. That never happened. Not at the same time. I knew. I knew something was wrong. I was right. This was the day my life forever changed. My family's life forever changed. In the moment I wanted Gayle. She is like my second mom & I wanted her. I needed her. I knew she'd make me laugh. Make me smile. She did! She drove around with me and we just talked. Thank you, Gayle, for that day. Thank you for being there for me!

As my life continued, his treatments began and this was the new norm for me. My parents would go to his treatment and I continued my normal routines. I graduated from high school with my dad there cheering me on. All was okay in my world. Everything felt somewhat normal again. I decided to go to college at Huntingdon in Montgomery. That was the best decision. I was close to home and would be near my family. God knew what he was doing. He knew I would need to be close. 

Fast forward to Fall of 2007. My new normal that I had adjusted to slowly began to change. My dad's cancer got worse and my heart grew colder. I just didn't understand why this was happening to my family. Why wouldn't God just heal my dad? Why couldn't he just be cancer free? Why? I shouldn't have asked that many whys. But God would show me later. That is my favorite part of my story. 

At the beginning of October I was sitting in my dorm room alone waiting to hear from my mom. She was with my dad having a very important visit with his doctor. My phone finally rang. This phone call would change my life forever. This was it. My mom didn't want to tell me what she knew. She was being her amazing self. Her strong self. Incase you don't know my mom, she is the strongest person I have ever known. I said mom, you have to tell me. I have to know. In the matter of 1 minute my world came crashing down. There was nothing else that could be done. The battle was coming to end. I was heartbroken, distraught, and numb. I ran across the hall to my dorm neighbor, Maggie. She took me in her arms and she just hugged me. No words were exchanged. Just tears and hugs. That silence is what I needed to process everything. Maggie, you will never know how much those hugs and silence meant to me. Thank you for being my rock during that moment. About 30 minutes later my second mom came to my rescue along with my roommates. I cried and cried to them, and they continued to hug me. I just wanted to know how much longer. How much time had they given my dad? As Gayle was hugging me I saw in the corner of my eye her hold up the number three with her fingers. Three days? Three weeks? Three months? I had no clue. Thank you, Gayle, for being there. Again. You were there at the beginning of this battle & the end. You are so very special to me. Also, thank you Katy Jo, Chelsea, & Lynley for being such incredible roommates that were there no matter what time I needed y'all. For reminding me to laugh and to let loose. Thank you to my big, Destree, for the cuddles and endless talks at night when I needed you most. My little, Kristi, for being such a great and loving little! Who would take me on the best car rides! :) 

I later found out the answer to my question was three months.

That three months turned into 2 weeks. How did this happen so fast? Now here we are 8 years ago today I am at my house talking to my dad. Having what would be the last real conversation I would have with my dad. He told me to be strong. To protect my sisters. Be my mom's rock. Mom, Hannah, & Hollan; I hope I have lived up to Daddy's request. I'm so thankful for the three of you. We couldn't of gotten through this without each other. I truly believe that. Us VanderHey girls stick together! 

I will always cherish that conversation. Always. 

Now to the morning of October 26, 2007. I woke up, went and gave my dad a kiss like I had been doing the past couple of days he had been in care of hospice. He wanted to finish the battle at our house. In the comfort of our home. A little funny of that day. Our dog Josie was barking like crazy, like usual. And in his mumbled voice he said, "can someone shut that damn dog up." My dad was always a man of few words. But when he said something, he meant it. We quickly found a place for Josie to stay. 

Around lunch I went to run an errand. Before I even got to the destination I was told to come home. It was time. My heart sunk. I prayed the whole way home for strength. 

I got there and everyone was standing in a circle holding hands. There was a spot waiting for me to hold my Daddy's left hand. I told him I was there and that I loved him. I asked if I could pray and I prayed for courage and strength for all of us. I told my dad to go get our house ready in Heaven. We are okay. We would be just fine. My mom said her goodbyes and for a moment we thought he was gone. But, it wasn't. I closed my eyes and heard the song "Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home." It was what I needed to hear. Then it happened. My dad took his last breath. The battle with cancer was over. 

Right then and there I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I saw the gates of Heaven. It was amazing. It was bright. Then I saw my dad on the other side. Smiling at me. I knew he was home. I knew God gave me a peace. A reassurance. He gave me a reason to keep going. 

I went outside to see the sun shining and to see an opening in the clouds. It was another peace God gave me. Our good family friend, Barbi, came out with me and just hugged me. Thank you, Barbi, for your hugs during that. 

Gotta love hugs!

I went back inside to check on my mom. And I just sat with her and cried. When the tears stopped I told her what I saw. Here is my favorite part. She. Saw. The. Exact. Same. Thing. God is amazing, isn't he? Here comes another amazing part. My mom's friend, Janice, said that was such a beautiful song. I said you heard it too? And she said, Heather, you were the one singing. Incredible. God used me and I didn't even realize it. 

The rest of the day and into the evening we sat there and shared our favorite memories of my dad. They were filled with laughter and tears. Two of my dearest friends came by to say their goodbyes to my dad and to be with me. Lauren & Erin thank you for coming. Thank you for loving me and just being there to sit outside. You two girls will never know how important you were to me that afternoon. 

My life continued on after that cool October day. A few weeks after my dad passed, I would call his cell phone just to hear his voicemail. I wish I could still call it. I miss him every single day. I wish he could have been here to meet Tyler and be there when Ty was born. But, he has had the best seat in the house for all the occasions in my life. 

I will forever be grateful for that day. Even though I lost my Dad, I got to see him at the gates of Heaven. And I will get to see him one day. 

Thank you for reading my testimony. 

God bless!

-Heather 

To Our Angel Baby

BP2,

Hey sweet angel baby! Today is the day that you were supposed to be here. Today is the day we would have been a family of four. Today is the day Ty would no longer be the baby of the family. Today is the day Ty would have been a big brother. Today is your birthday. Happy Birthday, my love. Today is a day of sadness and a day of praise. Today, none of those things happened. God had different plans. We think about you daily. We wonder if you would have been a baby boy or baby girl. Did you know that we had names picked out for you? Those names will forever be yours. I cannot believe this day has come. I have dreaded it. I still wish you were in my belly. I still wish I would be getting everything ready for maternity leave. But, God knew you would have had to have a lot medical care. God knew that you needed to be in Heaven. That is why today is a day to praise too. Because you don't have to see the evils of this world, or be sick. You are healed and you are with God and you are with my daddy! I'm jealous, little one. Give your Papa E a hug and a kiss for me. And have him give you a hug and a kiss from Daddy, Ty, and me. We love you, baby. We miss you. But, we are so thankful that you are watching down on us. Happy Birthday, Baby Perdue 2! Enjoy your party in Heaven!

Love,

Daddy, Mommy, & Ty

I still feel as if a piece of me was lost the day I had my D&C. I feel like I have grown in my relationships with God and Tyler. It hasn't been easy. I have had some tough days & some good days. I cannot lie, I asked God why. I was so disappointed in myself for questioning God. But thank goodness for my amazing Husband. He reminded me of God's perfect plan. He reminded me that God knew BP2 needed to be in Heaven. God had a plan. Thank you, Tyler, for reminding me of that. Thank you for loving me & bearing with me through this time. I know that when God wants us to be pregnant again, we will be. I thank God daily for giving me peace & blessing me with Tyler & Ty! And just for blessing me in general. Remember, sometimes things happen to us that wasn't our plan, but God's plan. Remember God loves you no matter what. 

Here is my only ultrasound picture I got. Here is our sweet angel baby. 

"For the word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything he does. He loves whatever is just and good; the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth."

Psalm 33: 4-6

Blessings,

Heather 

A Time for Everything.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Wow. What a true statement. There is a time for EVERYTHING. But, does that mean our timing? No. Not our timing, God’s timing. This verse has been a staple to my life, especially the past month. I have had a secret I was so excited to share with the world, but God had a different plan. At the beginning of February I started feeling a little off, I was tired ALL the time, and feeling icky a lot. Being a teacher, I kinda played if off. Well, the more I thought about it, the more I knew—I was pregnant. I told Tyler that I needed to take a pregnancy test. We both were super anxious to find out the results. That 1 minute to wait to look at it seemed like way more. We looked on the count of three. Were we ready for another one? Could we afford this? What will we do about daycare? Can we love another child like love Ty? “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born.” We were pregnant! Our emotions were crazy. All those questions were a reality. We were excited, but more nervous than anything. The next day I started to bleed a little, and I called my doctor to make an appointment. My heart was racing, was I okay? Was this precious baby okay? I went to the doctor and there on the screen was our beautiful baby number 2. BP2 as Tyler and I say. Our beautiful baby had a heartbeat and everything looked great. “A time to be born.” All our questions and fears immediately went away. We knew God picked us to be parents again, we knew we could love another child just as much a Ty. We were ready to be a family of four: Tyler, Ty, BP2, and me. My wonderful little family. I was on cloud 9! I was pregnant again and so excited!! We decided to wait until my next appointment to tell everyone. We told our family and a few of our co-workers. We prayed with Ty every night and thanked God for choosing us again. The weekend before my next appointment we took family pictures with Ty man to announce our big news! I made a cute little sign with “I’m going to be a big brother” on it. I was counting down the days to see my sweetie pie on the ultrasound again. Tyler & I texted all day about it—we couldn’t wait to see BP2 again. Tyler couldn’t leave work early that day, so I invited my Mom to come along. We get to the appointment and wait a little & the ultrasound tech called me back. There was our baby again, so precious and had grown. “A time for everything under the heavens.” She sent me to wait on my doctor for my checkup. I left the room with no pictures and a strange feeling in my stomach. I prayed in that moment for God to give me strength. I knew I was going to need it. My doctor walked in and asked me how I was feeling, I told him I was feeling pretty good. He sat down in front of me and told me something I didn’t want to hear. “A time to be born, and a time to die.” We had lost the baby. Our precious baby’s heart had stopped beating. My heart broke and I lost a piece of me that afternoon. How could this happen? I was doing what I was supposed to. I was resting. Why, God? Why? I made my appointment to have my D&C the next day. I was devastated. I still had my baby in my stomach, but my baby had stopped breathing. I went to my mom’s afterwards and waited on Tyler & Ty to get to me. I felt so numb. I was so heartbroken.

It has been a week since I found out that Tyler and I had lost our baby. We are both still heartbroken—but we know it was God’s plan for us. Do we understand? No. Do we still trust God? Yes. “A time to weep and a time to laugh.” I wondered that day if I would be able to laugh again. And I have been able to. This baby will always be a part of our life and hearts, but we will try again. Losing a child is not something anyone wants to happen—but, it did. Together, Tyler and I have grown closer to each other and God. Our love for each other is even stronger than before. My relationship with God is stronger. He has sent me so much comfort and I so thankful for that. Not many people even knew I was pregnant, and at one point—I didn’t even want to tell anyone about losing our baby. I wasn’t embarrassed, I just didn’t want to have people ask me about it. I didn’t think I was ready to talk about it. Last night I was praying about it and I knew God was telling me to share my story. Here I am 27 years old and it the past 7 ½ years I have lost my daddy and my second child. But, I still trust my Heavenly Father and praise him for everything. He knew I was strong enough to handle these things and he know I would grow in him through these rough times. I know that my daddy and my baby are together and that my daddy is loving on BP2. How beautiful and reassuring is that? God loves me. God loves Tyler. God loves Ty. God loves YOU. We go through things in life that we don’t understand, but we put our trust in Him through the good and the bad—he will bless you. Look how he has blessed me: I have a mother who never gave up after she lost her husband, two wonderful baby sisters who are growing up and becoming amazing women, an incredible husband who has stood by my side through EVERYTHING—the good, the bad, and the ugly, amazing family and friends who love me no matter what, and my most recent blessing—my son, Ty, who brightens my day all the time! How can I focus on the rough times, when I can clearly see how much God has blessed me? How could I possibly not trust him? Is it hard? Yes. But I will continue to trust him in every aspect of my life. Thank you, God, for blessing me and loving me. Thank you for showing me that you love me every day. Thank you for blessing me with sweet BP2 and showing me that I can be a mom to two, and that I can love another child. Thank you, God, for everything. If you are going through a tough time, please remember “there is a time for everything.” Remember God loves you, and even through the tough times we should praise him.

A little update on Momma & Ty..

Well, everything is still going pretty good. I went back to the doctor on Thursday and my doctor said he wants me to try and make it to 37 weeks to have Ty. I will be 36 tomorrow... So he could be here very soon! So exciting! I will start going to my doctor twice a week now. I go back on Monday! 

While I was there Thursday my blood pressure was a little high, so they sent me back to the Triage for blood work and more monitoring. My blood pressure went down a lot & my blood work came back good! So that was a blessing!!! I did get an ultrasound done while I was there & they said he was looking to weigh about 6 pounds 1 oz!! *Note* I was 5 pounds 15 ounces and was born at 40 weeks exactly. Baby Ty is clearly not taking after Momma! Tyler was 9 pounds. Yikes! Anyways, I had to do a 24 hr urine collection and had to bring it back the next night. It came back great as well! 

So, I am still on bed rest and I am not going to lie, it's been nice. I do get lonely, but I have been watching Sex & the City TV series and when I finish those I will begin Full House! I know, quite the opposite. Tyler has been absolutely amazing during this! He cooks, cleans, checks on me all the time. I am the luckiest girl in the whole wide world!!

I do want to thank a few people who have provided dinner for us! My mom made us several meals to last us for a while! Tyler's mom has made us dinners as well. My friend, Courtney, made us two breakfast casseroles. Our friends, Michael & Erin, brought us a meal tonight. We received a gift card to my favorite (Zaxbys) from Mrs. Loretta, a sweet woman that works with my mom. And Sunday night we have some sweet teachers from Coosada (2nd Grade Green Pod--y'all rock!) who are bringing us dinner!! Thank you so much to everyone from doing that--means so much to us!!! 

I have felt so loved during this entire pregnancy and I am so thankful for all the love and prayers I have received!!! All the texts, Facebook messages, etc. mean the world!!! Ty will be here soon & I cannot wait for everyone to meet him! 

A lot of resting ahead...

I am just doing a quick update to discuss my appointment today. 

Last weekend I started having some major swelling in my feet & mild swelling in my face. This morning I was not feeling like myself, so I got the nurse at school to check my blood pressure. Needless to say, it was pretty high. It was 150/90. Luckily I already had my 35 week appointment scheduled for today. I get to my appointment & my blood pressure had gone up to 152/90, and they had me rest on my left side to check it again. My nurse came in & said they wanted to send me to the hospital and do some blood work there. I get to the hospital & my blood pressure had skyrocketed to 173/92. And they hooked me up to the monitors to watch Baby Ty's heart and my blood pressure. Thankfully he looked perfect, but my doctor was concerned about Momma. They did blood work and checked my blood pressure every ten minutes. It started to go down, thankfully, and I just had to wait for the blood work results. It turns out I am anemic &  my iron levels are low. My swelling did not go down at all while I was there either. And my blood work had gone down to 134/76--which isn't ideal, but so much better! So I have been put on bed rest until Ty comes & have been told to eat a lot of red meat and protein. I can only drink water, (which is pretty much what I drink, minus the caffeine free coke), some juice, and milk. I am to only get up to shower, fix something to eat, and go to the bathroom. I am not to drive or go anywhere. It will be hard for me to just rest, but I will because I know I need to be healthy and I want Baby Ty to be healthy! Thankfully I have an amazing husband who will do anything and everything for me! And we have awesome parents who are going to cook us some meals as well. I did not think that I would be put on bed rest today, but I am thankful God is giving me this chance to rest! He sure knows I wouldn't do it any other way. I am going to miss my babies at school, but I know they will be in good hands!! I will keep everyone updated. My next appointment is this Thursday!

6 Weeks and COUNTING!

It has been a while since I wrote on my blog--I have been super duper busy! The pregnancy is coming to an end and it is so bittersweet. I have so many feelings and thoughts--but I am so excited!!! Last time I wrote I was 31 weeks and now I am 34. A lot has happened since then! I had my first experience having to go Labor & Delivery.. not fun! I had a student at school who was running in the hallway & ran straight into my stomach. She hit pretty hard, so I called my doctor & he wanted me to come to Labor & Delivery just to be safe. So they hooked me up to the monitors and monitored Baby Ty's heartbeat and contractions (incase I had any.) Luckily, everything was fine and Baby Ty and I are great. It was scary, but I am so thankful we are okay. Tyler was such a trooper and it gave us a little taste of the drive and nerves going to the hospital! I am so blessed, I have one incredible husband!!!! Ty and I are very lucky!! Here is my update! 

How far along:  34 weeks, 1 day

Maternity clothes: I am rocking the maternity clothes all day, everyday!     

Total weight gain:  Well I started out at 145 and by the end of the 1st Trimester I was at 130. So I lost 15 pounds. I have gained that back, plus a few pounds. I am at 153 now!    

Stretch marks:  Still no stretch marks! Thankfully! :) 

Sleep: I have actually been sleeping pretty good! It takes me a little bit longer to fall asleep, but once I get comfortable--I sleep through the night with exception of my ONE bathroom break. I am praying I can continue to sleep like this for a few more weeks.      

Best moment this week: Well since I blogged the best moment was Spring Break! I NEEDED that week & it was so nice and relaxing! I had a doctors appt and found out Baby Ty was head down AND my placenta was where it needed to be!! Which was a huge change. Looks like as of a now the C-Section will not be needed!!!! Such a blessing! 

Miss anything: I still miss my speed. I got the waddle down now. It takes me longer to get places and to do things! Tyler has been so patient with me, did I mention how wonderful he was???

Movement: Dear gracious, yes. He moves A LOT. And now, the movements are so strong and big. Sometimes they are a little uncomfortable. He likes to roll his entire body from one side to other! 

Food cravings: None really.        

Anything make you sick or queasy:  Well, Baby Ty is taking up more room  so I get fuller quicker and then I get hungry. So I am eating smaller meals--more often. But if I wait too long I get queasy feeling. 

Labor signs: Nope. Just the occasional Braxton Hicks contractions. 

Belly Button in or out:  I just keep waiting for it to go from innie to outie. 

Wedding rings on or off:  Off :( Makes me so sad!!! 

Happy or Moody most of the time: I am so emotional. I feel like I cry all the time!   

Looking forward to:  Tomorrow is my work baby shower & Saturday we are having another 4D ultrasound. We won a free won a few weeks ago & the lady said she wanted to do it again because she didn't like the pictures!! 

Here are some pictures! 

This is a picture from our 1st 4D Ultrasound! He is so perfect! He has the cutest lips EVER!

Sweet student of mine & I on Dr. Seuss Day. He was my Cat in the Hat & Ty and I were Thing 1 and 2! 

Panoramic View of Ty's room! :) 

My sweet husband resting after working in Ty's room! :)